My daughter, the CIA Agent

It all began when I started watching Covert Affair…then I saw Argo, Zero Dark Thirty and the realization came over me like a brick: My daughter must be a CIA agent. Oh, she says she’s a yoga instructor…but really… a yoga instructor that goes all over the world facilitating yoga classes? Give me a break…I might be a senior citizen but I’m too smart for that story.

It appears to be the perfect cover for such a clandestine job…lovely, beautiful yoga instructor, married with two girls to an unpretentious balding husband. But let’s look at the facts: my daughter is six feet tall with a perfect body, very strong, very smart, and she can be manipulative and conniving. I remember when she was young she always had a mind of her own. Once in New York City when she was 16 she was at a dance and some model agent came up to her and asked her if she’d like to be a model. She turned him down…she said she wanted to make more of a contribution to society than modeling. That must have been the beginning of it.

Now, I’m sitting here looking at the postcard she sent me from Costa Rica…site of her “special ops” no doubt. I’ve also received similar cards from Mexico, France and get this…the Far East. The topper to all this is that she lives in Potomac, Maryland, which is just a hop, skip and a very short commute to Langley. Why would anyone want to live around Washington D.C. with all that traffic and snow in the winter?

Now, I’ve just found out that her oldest daughter will be graduating from high school in a few months. She related to me that she would like to be a “profiler” for the FBI. Where did that come from? Is this a like-mother, like-daughter thing?

My daughter and her family visit me here in Florida twice a year: at Christmas and during spring break. Both she and her husband have very sophisticated taste-buds. They’re used to eating cuisine from other countries like India, Korea, and China… and who knows where else. I know they seem bored with my Southern cooking…or eating at John’s Island. It’s just not spicy enough for them. They eat very exotic dishes that I’ve never heard of.

Then my daughter and her husband went on a trip out of the country and I stayed with the children. There is conveniently no trace anywhere in her house of any badges, guns, special phones or passports in other names… so they have trained her well. I looked up her list of “friends” in her phone book…all I can say is that it is very suspicious. Why on earth would she be friends with a kidney surgeon from Russia? And just like the TV show The Americans this “surgeon” lives right next door to her.

My daughter left me a detailed list of who to contact if they didn’t return. I could make out some doctors, lawyers, and others who seemed questionable…but why would she have me contact another yoga teacher and tell him all the details?

During my stay with the girls, I asked a lot of questions: How often does your mom travel? Have you ever gone with your mom to a shooting range? Have you ever seen your mom come home with injuries? Have you ever been mugged and your mom came to the rescue by completely overcoming the attacker? Has your mother ever threatened your boyfriend when she caught you in a compromising situation?

What a great cover is this “yoga” thing. There are probably hundreds, perhaps thousands of other “yoga” teachers jumping on planes right now headed for Berlin, South Korea, or Hong Kong to meet up with that other spy who will help them gain some inside information that will save our country.

But…if that’s the occupation she’s chosen I have to be strong and do my part by babysitting and keeping quiet so all those other spies will not be on to her.

It’s a dangerous world out there…I know because I watch every CIA movie or TV show I can get my hands on…and the yoga teachers of the world are doing a great job!